Friday, August 7, 2009

A Difficult Day of Discernment

I have been struggling to figure out if I am being called to become an Elder at Faith Church. It is evident in the many previous entries in this blog that I have tried to see both sides in our conflict and keep my eye on where God wants to direct us. I go from positive days to negative days regularly and with increasing frequency. Today was a difficult day.

Today I received more evidence that we are a divided congregation. The details are irrelevant, they are the same issues that have plagued us and seem not to want to go away. It’s just that when you try to stay focused on the positive and then the negative jumps back in view it hurts all over again. I suppose today could be described as a Scrooge moment. The way ahead appeared very clear and bleak, unless we do something to change that. That something must rely exclusively on our dependence on God. Yet the ponderous weight of earthly power seems stacked against experiencing that dependence.

At the same time as I am struggling with the call, I also find myself searching the web for another church. I wish I could say this was for research purposes to see how others are doing things; I cannot. I was searching for a place to go.

It sometimes seems clear that if I cannot find enough faith in Faith’s future to accept a call to be Elder, then it is time for me to move on. Other times, if I put my faith in God, it seems I need to stay and accept the call. That is difficult, because I’m not sure if that is to see Faith through these tough times and keep pointing to God on the way or is it to help others see God’s grace in hospice as we wither away.

And to make this decision even worse, the time to make the decision is either before or just after we anticipate getting an interim Pastor. Just like God to force the decision to be made in faith and not based on visible evidence.

I have many more thoughts and questions. But I’ll lay those down at His feet for tonight and try to get some sleep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOfoXDymFZA

Today was a difficult day.

4 comments:

Your sister in Christ said...

This is the day the Lord has made...Let us be glad and rejoice in it!

Dave,

Just wanted to point out an observation in these 2 sentences, if they were to stand alone:

1. “It sometimes seems clear that if I cannot find enough faith in Faith’s future to accept a call to be Elder, then it is time for me to move on. “

God is not mentioned here…..this is just you (alone) looking for the future that will be positive and bright. (Not that a positive future is a bad thing!)

2. “Other times, if I put my faith in God, it seems I need to stay and accept the call.”

God is here in this sentence that you wrote……I am curious about the way you said “I need to”. Do you feel you should “serve” because God wants you to, but you would really rather not accept the call to be an Elder, if it were up to you?

We are all going to have our days (moments) that seem hopeless, but with God there is hope. I know that you do rely on God for everything. You are a deeply spiritual person. I admire that you are seeking answers. Prayer does work. So does the “word”. You can trust in the Lord to lead the way. Don’t get discourage because the journey seems long; break it down to smaller goals and tackle that first. (Remember Frank talking to us about “baby steps”.) Don’t let people get you discouraged either. Rather, trust in the Lord that He will lead us all to where we need to be, if we are willing to be receptive to His direction.

Accepting the call to be an Elder is a lifelong call to serve the Lord. I encourage you to read in the Book of Order (can be found online) G-6.0303 & G-6.0304. I can see you in both of these descriptions. If you were to accept a call, you would need to see yourself here too. If God does not see you at that point, that is okay. Just continue to stay open to His will and it is going to be fine.

I too struggled with the call to be an Elder. I did not feel I was ready to do this. I took a leap of faith that God would carry me through. In my journey my love for the Lord has grown immensely. My love for the Presbyterian Church has also grown.

Let me possibly “encourage” you with a positive statement of faith: “I believe in the Lord! I believe in the Presbyterian Church! I believe in Faith Presbyterian Church and I know the Lord is there working in all of our lives, EVEN if we think things are not going the way we think they should. Just wait……the Lord’s way will come to pass.

Psalms 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Jerry redus said...

My dear friend Jonah, running from a call does not get God out of your life. A friend of yours and mine is finding people with what Dr. Carl Jung called “inflamed egos” imposing their wills on her church as well and her job is threatened. Sound familiar? When I asked her what God was telling her, she said He assured her to continue to show God’s grace, since “It is not your fight.” Carry the struggle at Faith lightly, as it is God’s fight. You are only a foot soldier, perhaps an officer – maybe even a prophet.

However, if you find you cannot worship a Faith because you cannot feel Christian love toward and from the gathered community, then and only then maybe it is time to look elsewhere for the fellowship that is a hallmark of the true church.

DSM35803 said...

A friend emailed:
1. MY BROKEN RECORD - THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO SIDES TO OUR CONFLICTS.

2. THERE ARE SEVERAL ENCOURAGING SIGNS WE ARE UNFOLDING AS A CONGREGATION THAT SEEKS THE BEST - AND THAT BEYOND THE CONFLICTS THERE IS HUGE POTENTIAL FOR FAITH TO BE VIBRANT WITHIN THREE YEARS.

I AM PRAYING FOR YOU.

THE DECISION FOR YOU TO LEAVE FAITH BEFORE THE INTERIM PASTOR ARRIVES WOULD BE A LOUSY ONE! CAN I BE ANY CLEARER?

THE DECISION CONCERNING BEING AN ELDER IS UNDERSTANDABLY CHALLENGING, BUT WITHOUT A DOUBT THE SESSION NEEDS YOU - IF YOU ARE WILLING TO BE VERY FRUSTRATED AND CHALLENGED AT TIMES WHILE YOU VOICE WHAT THE SESSION NEEDS TO HEAR AND SEE DEMONSTATED.

DSM35803 said...

Relax folks, I'm not leaving yet. Just processing. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it has crossed my mind.